


you know i'm stupid (for you)

by zenosungs (pastelkoma)



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, Killing Game Was A Virtual Reality Simulation (Dangan Ronpa), Multi, No Spoilers, Oma Kokichi Being Oma Kokichi, Oma Kokichi Is a Little Shit, Oma Kokichi-centric, Post-New Dangan Ronpa V3, he falls off a fridge., it doesnt play a big part, just brief mentioning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-15
Updated: 2020-11-15
Packaged: 2021-03-09 23:48:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,755
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27574750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pastelkoma/pseuds/zenosungs
Summary: Shuichi can only yell at Kaito to stop as the taller man begins to pull Kokichi in an attempt to get him off the refrigerator, but what happens instead is that Kokichi’s entire body weight is pulled forward, and with it, so is the fridge.“Oh, fuck—” Kokichi says, and Shuichi feels his soul leave his body when the refrigerator topples forward, bringing Kokichi down with it.(OR: Kokichi wants to prove that he's actually not that short; he's a bit idiotic, and Shuichi and Kaito are amused until they aren't.)
Relationships: Momota Kaito/Oma Kokichi/Saihara Shuichi
Comments: 1
Kudos: 107





	you know i'm stupid (for you)

**Author's Note:**

> based off a prompt that was like "character a is teased by character b and character c for being the shortest, character a tries to prove them wrong and gets hurt"
> 
> so here is ouma being a dumbass with refrigerators. he's an idiot but his boyfriends are very endeared. and partly to blame.

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The moment Shuichi walks through the door of their shared apartment, his heart launches through the roof.

“Hey, Saihara-chan!” comes the voice from the little menace, all happy and proud (though there is absolutely no reason for him to be proud because _what the fuck is going on here_ ) and he swings his legs from where he’s perched. Kaito is already home and he’s screeching, yelling at Kokichi to _get the fuck down you little shit!_

“K-Kokichi?!” Shuichi says his name in something akin to a screech, darting forward because his _little_ boyfriend is on their very _tall_ refrigerator, perched on the edge and looking dangerously close to possibly slipping off. “Kokichi, don’t—”

And it’s not as if Kokichi hasn’t pulled shit like this before, because he _does_ —too often, in Shuichi’s opinion—but he and Kaito suffer from way too many headaches and heart attacks that Kokichi is completely responsible for, and Shuichi never gets used to his antics so every day is a new experience. However, perching yourself on the top of the fridge, being as small as you are while rocking back and forth (while said fridge looks close to toppling over), is a _recipe for disaster._

“Kokichi! Get down! Get down right now!” Kaito screams, already having lost his cool as he stomps around the refrigerator, hands waving wildly, looking like he’s debating between yanking Kokichi to the floor or murdering the little thing. Both, maybe. In that order.

Kokichi giggles, shrugging his shoulders as Shuichi looks up at him helplessly. “Momo-chan is so loud, he’s going to get a noise complaint filed! And anyway, I’m just proving my point, aren’t I?”

_A point? Could it be—_

“Ouma-kun, is that really what this is about?” Shuichi says, appalled. 

“Yep!” His legs swing haphazardly and Shuichi can feel himself getting lightheaded from the stress of this situation. 

“I don’t care about whatever you’re trying to do! If you fall…!” Kaito says, and with that he lunges forward, reaching up and taking Kokichi by the hands as the boy squeaks in surprise. Shuichi can only yell at Kaito to stop as the taller man begins to pull Kokichi in an attempt to get him off the refrigerator, but what happens instead is that Kokichi’s entire body weight is pulled forward, and with it, so is the refrigerator.

“Oh, fuck—” Kokichi says, and Shuichi feels his soul leave his body when the fridge topples forward, bringing Kokichi down with it.

  
  


-

  
  


How did we get there, one may ask?

Like a lot of things in Shuichi’s life tends to do, everything starts with Kokichi. Shuichi is fairly certain that the world revolves around the purple-haired menace and he sits there in the middle of it all, bending the earth at his own will, because everything always leads back to Kokichi.

However, this time around, Kokichi hadn’t done anything in particular to instigate his future actions. In fact, he was merely _existing_.

And because Shuichi and Kaito are also menaces when they want to be, they had found a new subject to pick on: Kokichi’s height.

“Give it _back!_ ” Kokichi whines, hopping up and down as Kaito holds the object—Kokichi’s remote controller for his brand new drone (that he totally didn’t beg Shuichi into buying)—up high above his head, holding back snickers as Shuichi watches on in guilty amusement.

“Huh? Is someone talking to me right now?” Kaito says, looking around in faux thoughtfulness as he pretends to not see Kokichi. “Oh, Ouma? Sorry, you’re just so small that I can’t really see you.”

“You—!” Kokichi screeches, face beet-red in what Shuichi can only perceive as frustration and/or embarrassment. Shuichi could step in, but this scene is all too entertaining, and both of his boyfriends interacting is just too much for him to handle anyway, so he looks on in fond joy. Kokichi continues to scream, “Momo-chan, you dickwad, give it back or else I’ll smash you upside the head!”

“Can you even _reach_ my head?”

“You—! I’ll grab you by your ugly spiky hair, pull you down, and _then_ smash your head in!”

“Hey, let’s not be violent,” Shuichi says, barely holding back laughter as Kokichi looks to him with round eyes filled with crocodile tears. He decides to take a little bit of pity on his smallest boyfriend, “Momota-kun, come on, he’s not _that_ small…”

“Poor Shuichi, always sticking up for the little gremlin like that,” Kaito sighs, but he doesn’t relent in his teasing, even dipping his hand down to let Kokichi have the chance to grab at the controller before Kaito moves the controller out of reach again. This particular action makes Kokichi yell and stomp down on Kaito’s feet, which then makes Kaito start to jog around the room as his smaller boyfriend wails and chases him around.

“Momo-chan, I’ll kill you!” Kokichi cries, grabbing onto the back of Kaito’s shirt and yanking so hard Shuichi is afraid the fabric might end up ripping. “That’s the controller for the drone Shumai just got for me! Give it back!”

“N-No violence…” Shuichi snickers, voice bubbling into laughter at the end of his words, unable to hold it back anymore as Kokichi loses his will to jump for the controller, instead wailing while pounding his fists against Kaito’s chest. (He’s just kind of maybe very totally in love. With both of them. Maybe. Definitely.)

“Saihara-chan, why are you letting him do this to me?” Kokichi wails again, tugging on the front of Kaito’s shirt. “I’ll kill both of you!”

“You’re way too short to even do anything so bad to us,” Kaito says, spurring Kokichi on.

When Kokichi looks like he really may just burst, both into tears and into a torrent of screams, Shuichi finally intervenes, stepping to the both of them. He wraps his arms around Kokichi, hooking his chin over the smaller one’s shoulder. This elicits a small whine from the older one, who gives one final halfhearted pound on Kaito’s chest. “Jeez… both Shumai and horrible Momo-chan hate me enough to make fun of me…” he sniffs softly. “Ah, jeez…”

“Come on, we’re just joking, don’t act like you haven’t done worse things to us,” Kaito says in amusement, finally handing Kokichi his controller back. When Kokichi grabs it out of Kaito’s hands, pouting petulantly, the taller one only chuckles. “Little shits like you need a taste of their own medicine.”

“I’m not even short, you’re just… all above average height,” Kokichi murmurs, seemingly all out of energy to come up with proper rebuttals. Shuichi hums in gentle reassurance, rubbing circles into Kokichi’s hips, which make the smaller boy giggle softly (Kokichi is ticklish which is _so fucking cute_ but he’s cute in general, Shuichi decides). “H-Hey! Is this Shumai’s way of agreeing with me? Silly Saihara-chan, doesn’t know how to keep his hands off of me and all!”

“I’m not _agreeing_ ,” Shuichi says, wanting to join in on the teasing, because it’s not fair to let Kaito steal all of Kokichi’s reactions. “You have to admit you’re quite short, Ouma-kun. I’m not trying to agree with Momota-kun or anything… just, y’know, stating facts.”

Kokichi is silent for a beat before he groans, wriggling out of Shuichi’s embrace. Another beat of silence passes, and then: “You guys all suck,” he mutters, eyes glassy with what Shuichi can tell are merely crocodile tears. He wants to tease him, but not to the point of genuine tears, so that’s a relief. “I’m… I’m going into my room and I’m going to sulk and hope you all fall down the stairs or something!”

“Ouma-kun—”

“I hate you too, Shumai! I _am_ tall! I can prove it!”

“Ah, can you?” Shuichi laughs lightly, reaching out for Kokichi again in order to pull him back into another embrace, but the little one darts away from them while sticking his tongue out obnoxiously. “Hey, come on, don’t be like that…”

“If you’re going to be mean to me, your leader, then obviously you need to expect some consequences,” Kokichi complains, blowing a raspberry at them both before skipping off, presumably to head to their room, where he would then lock the door and not let them in in order to fulfill his role as angry little boyfriend. It’s practically routine at this point, and Shuichi is so, _so_ endeared. Apparently so is Kaito, who looks at Kokichi with a dazed expression on his face as the smaller one skips away.

“He says he’s going to prove that he’s tall,” Shuichi says, breaking the quiet atmosphere that comes around once Kokichi is gone. Kaito wraps an arm around him, and Shuichi leans into the embrace. “Think he’ll live up to that?”

“He’s Ouma, man,” Kaito says, making a _tsk_ noise with his tongue. “Who the hell knows?”

Shuichi hums. _Who the hell knows?_

-

The current predicament:

Shuichi had just walked in after a very tiring day, and there his smallest boyfriend is, sitting on the top of the refrigerator and giggling like a little maniac.

“Kokichi! Get down! Get down right now!” Kaito screams, already having lost his cool as he stomps around the refrigerator, hands waving wildly, looking like he’s debating between yanking Kokichi to the floor or murdering the little thing. Both, maybe. In that order.

Kokichi giggles, shrugging his shoulders as Shuichi looks up at him helplessly. “Momo-chan is so loud, he’s going to get a noise complaint filed! And anyway, I’m just proving my point, aren’t I?”

_A point? Could it be—_

“Ouma-kun, is that really what this is about?” Shuichi says, appalled. 

“Yep!” His legs swing haphazardly and Shuichi can feel himself getting lightheaded from the stress of this situation. 

_So_ **_this_ ** _is how he’s proving he can be taller than us?_

“I don’t care about whatever you’re trying to do! If you fall…!” Kaito says, and with that he lunges forward, reaching up and taking Kokichi by the hands as the boy squeaks in surprise. Shuichi can only yell at Kaito to stop as the taller man begins to pull Kokichi in an attempt to get him off the refrigerator, but what happens instead is that Kokichi’s entire body weight is pulled forward, and with it, so is the refrigerator.

“Oh, fuck—” Kokichi says, and Shuichi feels his soul leave his body when the fridge topples forward, bringing Kokichi down with it.

Shuichi, now soulless and about to pass out, dives for Kokichi from where he is, like he can somehow save him from the fall. It all happens in slow motion—Kokichi’s look of impromptu fear, Kaito’s look of even more fear, the fridge falling forward, Kokichi falling with it.

Kaito manages to yank Kokichi hard enough away from the refrigerator, easy because his hands were still clasped around Kokichi’s, obviously afraid the huge tall object might squash him like a bug. Shuichi squeaks as the fridge meets the floor, a terrifying _crash_ echoing throughout their apartment and resonating loudly.

It takes him a full two seconds before he moves, avoiding the fallen fridge as he kneels in front of his boyfriends’ sprawled forms. Kaito is already working on sitting up, eyes blown wide with panic as he pushes himself to his elbows. Kokichi, however, is facedown, and Shuichi’s heart seizes with unfathomable fear because oh god, Kokichi, _fuck_ , is he hurt is he okay is he _breathing_ is he—

“Kokichi?!” Shuichi cries, hands quivering as they hover over his boyfriend, Kaito’s hands the same, hesitant on touching. The _thud-thud-thudding_ of his own heartbeat pounds in his ears—

“Ah…” Kokichi says, voice shaky as he lifts his head up, eyes blinking rapidly. Shuichi feels the first beginnings of relief, but they’re quickly replaced by horror when he sees the blood beginning to drip from Kokichi’s nose. It steadily drips down, splattering to the floor in a steady rivulet. 

Kaito swears under his breath, quickly getting up and probably rushing to get a tissue, but Shuichi barely registers the movement as he helps Kokichi get into a sitting position, panic increasing at the dazed look on his face. “Kokichi, _shit_ ,” Shuichi hisses, cupping his face in his hands. “Oh, my gosh.”

Kaito returns, immediately staunching the nosebleed with the wad of tissues in his hand. “Kichi, can you hear me? Look at me, look at us,” he says, unable to conceal his own panic as his free hand cups the back of Kokichi’s head. Shuichi rubs his thumb across the purple haired boy’s cheek, trying to get him to look him in the eyes. “Kokichi!” Kaito repeats, and Shuichi is speechless, himself; he could _die_ from this anxiety.

Then, Kokichi blinks, a small-but-there smile beginning to spread across his face. A pregnant pause. And then, “ _Nishishi…_ A-Ah, concerned? Jeez, Momo-chan and Shumai are going to get wrinkles like old grandpas from how much they yell over me…”

“You little—” Kaito stammers, but the relief is clear as day. Shuichi exhales, thankful that Kokichi is not nearly as catatonic as he had previously been, but still. 

“I might die from how much I’m bleeding out,” Kokichi mutters, crossing his eyes in order to look at the tissues that Kaito is still holding to his nose. 

“Where does it hurt? Where are you hurt, Kichi? W-What do I need to fix?” Shuichi asks, rapidfire questions shooting out of his mouth as his hands tremble against Kokichi’s smooth cheeks. Concussion? Broken bone? Punctured lung? Please let it not be a punctured lung—

“Gosh, Saihara-chan! I literally just said I’m not dying, stop looking at me like I am!” Kokichi whines. “Where does it hurt, you ask? Considering I just slipped off a fridge, everything hurts, including my eyes and nose and lips and legs and head, so I think I may be dying.”

“O-Ouma-kun, I’m serious!” 

“Aw, fine…” Kokichi murmurs. “I-I don’t know… maybe I hit my head?”

Kaito curses again under his breath. “Fuck, are you serious? Look at me, Ouma,” he says and Shuichi relinquishes his hold slightly to let Kokichi turn his head in order to look Kaito in the eye. “I just need to…” he trails off; Shuichi can only assume that he’s searching for signs of a concussion. “Does your head hurt? Feeling nauseous? Do you remember what happened?”

Kokichi’s face scrunches up in a way that tugs at Shuichi’s heartstrings, because even now, he’s still fond through his nervousness. “Momo-chan, what is _wrong_ with you, asking dumbass questions? My head hurts a little bit, I’m not nauseous, and I fell off the fucking fridge because _you’re_ the one who pulled me off! Duh!”

The flash of guilt flickers on Kaito’s face, and it remains. “...Sorry.” 

Kokichi pouts. “I mean, I was the one who climbed up there, so… um… don’t look so mad at yourself. I was just…” he blinks rapidly. “I was just trying to, uh.”

“Prove yourself, I know, I know,” Shuichi shushes him, leaning forward to plant a kiss on Kokichi’s temple. There’s guilt stabbing at him too—he’s part of the reason why Kokichi tried to do this in the first place, he should’ve known better than to spur him on the way he did—and he brushes a few stray hairs from his boyfriend’s forehead. “Ah. _Fuck_. I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, I’m sorry, Kaito and I were the ones who teased you, I’m _so sorry—_ ”

“Saihara-chan, it’s _fine_ ,” Kokichi insists, side-eyeing him. Kaito is still gazing at his boyfriend intently, continuously searching for any sign of a concussion, anything to indicate anymore injuries, obviously still (rightfully) guilty. 

“It’s not, you’re _hurt_.”

“Well, I was kinda stupid and climbed up there,” Kokichi mutters. “But! I’m not going to say it’s my fault. You were the ones who teased me, of _course_ I had to prove my point! I’m not Ouma Kokichi if I don’t challenge myself to refute every single thing you guys say. So, thanks to you two, I’m about to die from a nosebleed and potential concussion!”

“I…” Kaito says, trailing off. His face relaxes. “Well, you’re still your snotty little self, that’s for sure.”

Shuichi feels like he can breathe again, leaning forward and pressing close to the side of Kokichi’s face, swallowing thickly as the entire scene plays again in slow motion inside of his head, like a movie. It was downright _terrifying_. Kokichi being squashed like a tiny bug is not something he would’ve liked to see. But Kokichi is not squished like a tiny bug (thank heavens), so Shuichi breathes him in and presses another lingering kiss to his temple.

“Seriously…” Shuichi sighs. “God. Don’t scare us like that ever again.”

“Right! I almost had a heart attack!” Kaito exclaims. “A-And, um, I’m sorry for pulling on you like that. It’s my fault you’re hurt. You fell because I pulled you.”

“Or maybe I was planning to fall anyway so you guys could fawn over me like you are now!” Kokichi says. Wait—what. Kaito and Shuichi’s eyes widen almost comically, eliciting a snort from their smallest boyfriend. “Kidding! Am I? I don’t know, it’s up to you whether you think I’m lying or not. This attention on me feels good either way!”

Shuichi smiles fondly, shakes his head. This entire situation is enough to never make him bring up Kokichi’s height again, in case something like this happens anytime soon in the future. Shuichi does not want his little boyfriend to die for some stupid reason. _Please_.

Kaito grumbles. “You’re annoying. Now I have to keep an eye on you to make sure you don’t end up having a secret concussion or anything. Jeez, just how much trouble can you get into?” He quiets when Kokichi’s eyes narrow. “No, don’t answer that.”

“Why are you even talking to me right now? I think a lowly peasant such as you shouldn’t be speaking to me so freely, especially after what you’ve done to me,” Kokichi says, poking Kaito in the chest with his finger, voice nasally from the tissues still pressed against his nose. “I think you both owe me!”

“Aw, man,” Shuichi says in faux exasperation, smiling softly. “Right, that’s only fair. What do you want from us?”

Kokichi hums in thought, before perking up, a smile flashing on his face. “I think Momota Kaito should give me all of his money, buy me some more drones, get me a brand new phone, stop being annoying to me, stop kissing me because he’s stinky... yeah!”

Kaito gapes. “Wait, huh, what? Why didn’t you mention Shuichi at least once? This isn’t fair!”

“Because Shumai is nicer to me, and he doesn’t stink like you do? Maybe Momo-chan should just shut up and take a shower or something, y’know?”

Shuichi can’t hold back a peal of laughter as Kaito threatens to break Kokichi’s nose, Kokichi obnoxiously sticking his tongue out as he tugs on Kaito’s ear.

(He is very smitten, and very thankful Kokichi is alive and un-squashed.)

  
  


-

  
  
  


“U-Um, if he does have a concussion, isn’t it bad to let him sleep? People with head injuries shouldn’t sleep,” Shuichi whispers, fingers threading through Kokichi’s purple locks from where the boy’s head is resting on his lap.

Kaito, on the opposite end of the couch and having Kokichi’s feet sprawled on his lap, taps his fingers against Kokichi’s foot absentmindedly. “I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have one. I mean, I wasn’t planning to sleep soon, so I could keep an eye on him.”

Shuichi’s eyes narrow, sleepy as well, but the movie they’re watching isn’t over yet. He hums softly, continuing to stroke Kokichi’s hair, corners of his lips twitching as the boy lets out a particularly loud snore (still a bit quiet, though, because Kaito is the loudest sleeper of the three). “No, you should go to sleep. There… was a lot to deal with today, anyway.”

He and Kaito spent the rest of the day catering to Kokichi’s needs, pampering him to make up for the fact that they were a direct cause for Kokichi falling off of their refrigerator. Said refrigerator is up and running again, only sustaining damage to the inside where their food suffered and splattered everywhere (Kokichi took the liberty of forcing the rest of them to clean it up). 

They settled down in the evening for their movie night, Kokichi picking an English movie that he seemed to be enjoying the most out of the three of them, but honestly, Shiuchi would do anything to hear him laugh the way he does in his little obnoxious way. Kaito is no different, loving eyes concealed by mock annoyance, fondness tucked behind retaliating remarks. Kokichi, despite being the one to pick the movie, crashed first; throwing himself over the both of them and lying down, head in Shuichi’s lap and feet in Kaito’s. He fell asleep perhaps half an hour in, giggles fading out to soft snores.

Kaito massages Kokichi’s feet gently. “Huh. Not that I’d admit it to the annoying little shit, but fuck, I was scared. I pulled him forward at the last second while he was falling. I thought for sure the fridge was going to crush him because of me.”

Shuichi can recall seeing Kaito yank Kokichi towards him as the fall occurred, etched into his memory. “Yeah, I remember seeing that happen. Um. Don’t beat yourself up over it. Stuff like this is inevitable as long as he exists.”

“Yeah. I’m just,” Kaito breathes a sigh. “Happy, kinda? That we can still all get along like this, after everything. That we can settle. Be with each other. Fuck, that sounds really gross and sappy, but—”

“I get it.” Shuichi glances down at Kokichi, a small grin tugging at the corners of his lips. “Hopefully his dreams tonight are good ones. We’ve all been having less nightmares, y’know?”

“Yep. I’m thankful,” Kaito mutters, smile mirroring Shuichi’s as he glances at him, and then his gaze falls to Kokichi. “Even… if every object in this place, even our fridge, is in danger.”

Shuichi blinks slowly, exhaustion claiming his body and sleep clouding his vision. He chuckles softly at Kaito’s comment—and Kokichi is warm, he acknowledges, even though every single second spent with both of them is warm and full of starlight and moments that make his heart absolutely burst.

(And if their fridge has secretly sustained hidden damage or something, he’s pretty certain he can speak for Kokichi as well then he says Kaito is going to be the one to pay to get it fixed.)

**Author's Note:**

> kudos + comments always appreciated :D


End file.
